It's all about the money

Many isitors to Costa Rica, more particularly older single men, come with one thing on their mind - looking for someone to share the visit, a soulmate, someone who can love and care for, transation, someone to have sex with.

And that someone is usually a young woman, who for economic reasons, is more than willing to offer the companionship sought.

This companionship can come in many forms: a girlfriend, an hour in a massage parlour, a pick up at the local bar or grocery store, etc. but they all have one thing in common, it's all about the money.

These women, some as young as 18 and others older, even over 40, offer their time and services in exchange
for, well, things that are not always in the form of cash.

A new car or any car for that matter, the payment of a utility bill, purchasing milk for a baby, helping out a sick relative, and so on. As you can see, it is not always in the form of cash. Sometimes it is objects or things that can be easily converted into cash, other times, it is simply an "ayuda" - a helping hand.

But, no matter the form or manner, it is always about the money.

Why would a young girl want to spend time with a balding, potbelly aging man? His looks? His personality? His charm? Yes, all of the above and just a little bit more, money. The money makes all those qualities much more endearing and bearable.

Of course, some of these men fool themselves into thinking that it isn't or never was about the money. He has a lot to offer this poor soul, which in many cases is a single mother living in squalor conditions.

These men see themselves as saviours, the "principe azul" - prince on a white horse - ready to pluck the poor girl from her situation, never giving thought or concern if she really wants to be rescued.

After all this is the only life she has known, the life her mother handed down to her that was handed down by her grandmother and so forth, so why would she want to leave the comfort of what she knows well to be rescued into a world she does not know or understand.

But, well, why wouldn't anyone want to? After all, I have the money and can help her out. But, it never was about about the money, right?

The common complaint among men in this situation is that they just don't understand why. Why, when I have so much to offer. So much to teach. So much that I cannot even put into words. And all
they ask for in return is sex. Is that so bad?

I suppose not. We are all adults and though one can argue what does an 18 year old now about being a grown up, this is a question asked mainly by those up north, who so far removed from the reality of life and life in Latin America, that, well, just asking the question make one understand their ignorance.

Most of the girls that make themselves available for their companionship have already a lot of "life experience" by the time they reach the age of 18. Many already have children, some as many as two or three, and have lived in poor economic conditions that have required them to grow up fast.

Working to help out the family is not an option, it is a duty.

So, let us look at the opportunities available to a young girl to fulfill her duty to the family. Education or the lack of, means only menial jobs are available to them. Working at a MacDonalds is not an option. Working at a factory assembly line is a dream. Most will wither the day away looking for a job, but end up never to find one.

For those who are fortunate enough to find work, it doesn't even pay for the basic needs. The family has to pool its resources to scrape by. Independence is lost into the collective. The needs of the family is more important than the needs of the individual.

Hooking up with a middle aged man is one solution to the economic problem that guarantees the family well being. Most of these men don't understand that, their main concern is to rescue the poor girl from the family, but in fact, she is needed in the collective.

The few that are able to achieve independence they do so at a price. The price is usually working as a prositute, which is different from being helped out by an older man. Or is it?

The prostitute or "puta" is in a different category. She is there for the money and all personal feelings are set aside for the short time they are working. The money is up front. There is no discussion or argument why she is there.

And hence the other problem. Does she want to be rescued? And from what? She has achieved independence, something that is sought by most and here she is being tempted to be under the control of another, financial and emotional control. What is she being rescued from? and into what?

What is the difference of being subject to the collective needs of the family and the needs of her saviour? In both cases, the independence is gone, lost, taken away and she is back to where she started.

Men just don't understand that. Period.